31 Days: Pathway to perseverance - Grief

Grief is probably one of the most avoided words in the dictionary. And people, going through grief are often the most avoided people. The pain and sadness that is characteristic of grief, leaks out leaving imaginary puddles around causing people to tiptoe and take wide angles to avoid getting feet wet, to avoid getting stuck in the mud.

I know it can be hard to be around the grieving. Five stages that can shift at any moment from sadness to anger to bargaining, all distancing, all painful. But good grief, healthy grief takes work. The grieving has to be intentional about not only facing but going through the pain and the process. It is lonely, lonely work. No one asks for sad.

Although the work of grief feels isolated and singular, it does not mean that we should be alone.  It takes a lot of energy to persevere and push through, made much easier by the company of a friend or loved one. It is the ministry and gift of presence that is most important to a grieving friend. Not placating or comforting words, or efforts to distract from the current reality, not even wise counsel, takes the place of simply being present. There is no special training needed to be with someone who is grieving, but it does take intentionality and lots and lots of grace. It may be a challenge, but your willingness to hang in there with someone who is going through the toughest of times will become part of their story and your story for eternity.