Five Minute Friday- Regret: Better Left Unsaid
There are times in our lives when the adage, "better left unsaid" should be heeded. Once words escape, they cannot be stuffed back into our mouths and out of the memories of the hearer. Words linger in eternal balance and they have the power to bring life or to destroy (Proverbs 18:21). And misused words can certainly cause regret.
Like most, I have had my share of those better left unsaid moments and I have carried the regret that follows. But, some of my most regretful moments are the "I wish I would have said that" moments. When I think or pray or create with fingers on a keyboard words flow. But when I am face-to-face with a stranger or a friend, my words often fail. They stick deep in my throat and despite how desperately I will them to sound loud, there is silence.
The worst of it happens when there is a supernatural connection with someone — a God-moment— and I am frozen. The quickening of the Holy Spirit, whispering in my ear to just speak and I can't just open my mouth and to trust that the words will be there. Even Moses needed an Aaron to speak on his behalf. But, still. I regret that the very thing I love so dearly— beautiful, powerful, emotion-filled, descriptive and creative words—sometimes become my point of failure. These become the moments that replay in my mind and I am filled with regret.
So, over and over again. I fill myself with the Word of God—His promises. I remember 2 Corinthians 12:9, "But he said to me, my grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses so that Christ's power will rest on me." So here I am, writing the words of confession, full disclosure and the courage to trade silence for sound, my weakness for Christ's perfect power and regret for rejoicing.
This was written as part of the Five Minute Friday Community. We write for five minutes, around a single word prompt, completely unedited. The prompt for this week is Regret. To find out more about Five Minute Friday or to visit other writers, click here:http://fiveminutefriday.com/2018/03/01/fmf-link-up-regret/
Like most, I have had my share of those better left unsaid moments and I have carried the regret that follows. But, some of my most regretful moments are the "I wish I would have said that" moments. When I think or pray or create with fingers on a keyboard words flow. But when I am face-to-face with a stranger or a friend, my words often fail. They stick deep in my throat and despite how desperately I will them to sound loud, there is silence.
The worst of it happens when there is a supernatural connection with someone — a God-moment— and I am frozen. The quickening of the Holy Spirit, whispering in my ear to just speak and I can't just open my mouth and to trust that the words will be there. Even Moses needed an Aaron to speak on his behalf. But, still. I regret that the very thing I love so dearly— beautiful, powerful, emotion-filled, descriptive and creative words—sometimes become my point of failure. These become the moments that replay in my mind and I am filled with regret.
So, over and over again. I fill myself with the Word of God—His promises. I remember 2 Corinthians 12:9, "But he said to me, my grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses so that Christ's power will rest on me." So here I am, writing the words of confession, full disclosure and the courage to trade silence for sound, my weakness for Christ's perfect power and regret for rejoicing.
This was written as part of the Five Minute Friday Community. We write for five minutes, around a single word prompt, completely unedited. The prompt for this week is Regret. To find out more about Five Minute Friday or to visit other writers, click here:http://fiveminutefriday.com/2018/03/01/fmf-link-up-regret/
Silent regret is real.
ReplyDeleteChristina, thank you for sharing openly. I think it takes a certain type of person to be able to speak openly like this and not everyone is gifted with this. Getting your words out is done in a special way through your writing. Focus on what your gift is instead of what you are unable to do. Visiting you from the FMF group
ReplyDeleteWow - very powerful. And I can totally relate. Why am I so often at a total loss for words during those "God moments"?? Also seeking more courage!
ReplyDelete